Do you read stuff? If so you are in luck because I write stuff. Hi! For those of you that don’t know me, my name is Linisa. I am a 37 year old late bloomer who gradually grew into her unicorn-ness (new word) over the last decade. I worship the shrine of Our Fair Lady Robyn Rihanna Fenty, and I’m a #fukboiwhisperer fluent in 50 languages of wasteman; but my bestfriend is better at it than I am. I am kind, passionate and irreverent. I cuss a lot, deeply embrace my melanin and troll lightskin men and the fragile male ego. I’m an island-girl living on beautiful Antigua. I am a feminist and social justice advocate, liberator of the cleavage and a fan of women naming their vaginas: mine is clitfudge (it’s trademarked so don’t get any grand ideas). I am the eldest of three girls and my sisters are my heartbeats. My soulmates are my amazing friends. I don’t have any kids (my womb and I have a strict understanding) and I don’t like animals, so I don’t have any pets. I go coo coo over cocoa puffs aka tall chocolatey men with beards, a healthy body, white teeth and a killer smile – likely a fukboi, but meh I will cross that bridge when I get there. I think dark-skin women with small waists and big asses are God’s greatest creations. I like bright lipsticks, sports and serial killer documentaries. Snapped is my favorite show, so just know I would not hesitate to cut a bish. I love to read and I hope one day to be as prolific of a writer as my idol Maya Angelou. I’d agree to a 3some with Rihanna and Idris. I’m a hardworker but most days I am tired and weary from adulting. I am still on a quest to source a sugar daddy that doesn’t actually require any of my sugar. I’m a commitment phobe (according to my circle), procrastinator, high functioning depressive, fruit lover and trash talker. Tinder sucks and #AntiguanMenDontCheat, my room is always a mess, and I don’t like being around persons with bad energy and selfish intentions. I love sharing trash memes about ‘people man’, discovering new music and arguing with my mother about White Jesus.
Basically, I’m a mess and I’m OK with that. Navigating life is a struggle for everyone, even though most of us try our best to appear as if we have it all together. Fuk-ups are necessary for triumph, and failures are the lessons that nurture success. I am grateful for every day that I am able to jump out of bed because it is another opportunity to be better than I was the day before. Claustrophobia is real, and feeling like your dreams and aspirations have outgrown where you live is a constant prison for me as a creative. Not having the finances to change these circumstances as quickly as I’d like to is my prsent reality.
So how does a 37-year-old go-getting dark chocolate Caribbean feminist balance an ambitious To-Do list with time for family and friends, trips and the occasional lit turn-up of epic proportions? She doesn’t. Life gets in the way of life, and the best laid plans become null and void when things outside your control occur.
#ILiveOnAnIsland is a blog series about the challenges of me wanting so much more, yet feeling limited because ‘I live on an island’. How is my godmother Oprah going to find me here? As a writer there are so many great opportunities I miss out on just because of my location. This series is about the love and hate relationship that many of us often times have with the slow-pace of living in the Caribbean. It is about loving the fact that I can go lay on a beach all day and eat ice cream under a coconut tree, dance on my head-top at a fete and steal vegetables from my mother’s fridge when I am too lazy to go to the supermarket. It’s about the orgasmic experience of sucking on a tamarind ice pop, and having the old church ladies invite me over for Sabbath lunch to meet their nephews. #ILiveOnAnIsland is about long bank lines, gas stations that don’t take cards, sucky regional air services, people that try to cut the line at the breadshop and government workers doing their nails at their desk while you wait for them to stop so they can attend to you. It’s about social media drama, man-and-woman ‘tory, sexism, racism and homophobia. It’s about sexuality and dating and finding love (insert rolling eyes here). #ILiveOnAnIsland is about the things that make us leave, and the things that make us stay. It is about the things that make us call our islands home. It’s about Carnival and mas, nosey ass neighbours, rude pickanegga, chin hairs that appear after 30, chakra alignment, yoni steams and protecting your energy. It’s about Sunday brunches and bbqs and fry fish. It’s about being broke and trying to balance your checkbook, being late on rent, the high cost of living and Instagram filters vs real life. It’s about creeping into the dms and never sending nudes. It’s about practicing patience, trusting the process, working hard, using what you have and pushing through with all the setbacks thrown at you. It’s about owning your greatness, ducking badmind and standing in your truth. It’s about being in a whatsapp group called ‘Sketel Retreat’ and sharing #memesfrommytrashfriends on Tuesdays. #ILiveOnAnIsland is my story and it maybe your story. I’ve been writing this series for months as a YouTube show, but until that comes through (hey Oprah!), I’ve decided to just translate my stories into blog posts and get the content out there.
So now that you’ve read all of that, are you ready for fun, foolishness and ‘ah ha’ moments? I’ve tapped this series to run from September to December, so you will get to journey with me as I launch my book and non-profit, and get my squat game right. New posts will be uploaded on this site every Wednesday and Friday at midday with the first ones being posted next Friday (7th Sept). However if you sign up for my mailing list here, you will receive the password to unlock the blog segment on Monday (3rd Sept) and be a part of the first set of readers to view the uploaded content 5 days before the series and official website is launched. I will also be sharing daily gems of funny memes as well as chronicling my professional and creative life via my Instagram and Instastories and Facebook page.
I am low key petrified. In my head #ILiveOnAnIsland makes sense. I hope the stories translate to content that you will appreciate and can identify with. Soooooo, cheers to laughing, cringing, shaking your head and ‘yessssss Sis’-ing with me!!!
Excited? Sign-up for my mailing list here, if you haven’t already, and get access to the first set of posts this coming Monday. Until then remember to drink plenty water and use coconut oil and shea butter to keep your skin free from ashiness.
ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh by the way feel free to share the promo graphics in your circle: